Swimming Etiquette


This actually happens. Creepiest thing in the world.

Hi, welcome to your friendly neighborhood Bally’s, where personal privacy is unheard of and social niceties are uncalled for.  Want to walk around nude for half an hour then blow dry your genitals with dozens of members of the same sex milling around?  I’ve got just the place.  Need to strain yourself lifting 100 pound dumbbells you have no business touching?  Follow me.  How about a place where the pool heater regularly goes out leaving the average water temperature hovering around 65 degrees?  BALLY’S!  YAY!

The swims now are a minimum of 3000 meters and, to be honest, the cold water helps.  It keeps me motivated and moving.  It makes it really difficult to get up for the next swim as I wake up and recall diving into an ice bath during the last one, but I think, long term, it’s better.  Even though the Ironman is in late May, Lake Woodlands is still a huge body of water and I anticipate it being just a tad cold.  Another thing it helps with is distraction.  Not as in, distracting me from the loooong swim, but distracting me from what I should be focusing on, my form.  Swimming is difficult for me; primarily because I’m like a rock in the water.  “Dear God, that man is drowning somebody save h…wait…stop…I think he’s…yes, he’s swimming…sort of.” “Hey, you’re right, I thought that was a cat having a seizure.”

"What are you doing...that life preserver is twice the size of his body...there's no way he'll get his arms around that...how did you manage to throw it?"

Rotate your hips, push back with your arms at a 90-100 degree angle, flip your wrists back and push hard, hands glide into the water like a knife, elbows high..not too high! and kick man, my god man keep kicking!  Ugh, so much to focus on.  Running is like walking really fast and biking, hell, I learned that when I was 5.  Swimming, which I also learned when I was 5 is just different.  Humans are not meant to be in the water.  We (at least I) am out of my element.  I have enough skill to finish the swim, but not enough to feel comfortable doing it.  I’m ok with that though because (and I’ll end again with another inspirational quote) God would not have put us here unless he expected us to do great things.  And mark my words…I will do great things.

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2 Responses to Swimming Etiquette

  1. Sarah says:

    What do you mean when you say that first picture actually happens? Do you mean people walk around inappropriately in the changing rooms? Or do you mean they make shower wedgies? Either way, disturbing.

    • ndupre says:

      All of the above. When you get caught in a group shower wedgie, there’s not much you can do except sit there and wait til it ends. Sometimes you can feel them coming (no pun intended) and get out before they start, otherwise, you’re in for the long haul.

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