Crawfish and Hillbillies

Two posts in one month?? What??  I know, I know, I think I just pooped a little too.  Go change your pants and we’ll get started.  This one will be fairly short.  Not a great deal has happened since Daddy/Daughter weekend II.  Rowan and Carys decided that Daddy has no idea what he’s doing at the piano and should probably just take over from here on out.

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The only other event of note occurred this weekend when we attended the Spring Crawfish Festival (“SCF”) with my brother and his girlfriend.  The event itself was entertaining, but is it all festivals or is just Spring that empties every Wal-Mart and nearby McDonald’s of its patrons and dumps them into one location?  Are you 450 pounds, but still desire to wear a bikini in public? SCF it is!  Do you hate sleeves like they’re the plague?  Come to SCF.  Do you believe that everything looks better hitched to the back of a pick up truck with your wife’s ass dragging along the concrete behind you?  I’ve got just the place.  Ok, maybe it wasn’t that bad, except it was and everything smelled like crawfish, but seriously, we had fun and the people watching was spectacular.  I got no pictures of that so you’ll just have to imagine and now that I’ve loaded all the family pictures I realize there are too many so 15 of my favorite are below.

We began, as we do all festivals, with food.  Adryan shown here with a shrimp po-boy.  Now, I’m not an expert, but I picture a po-boy with stuff on it.  These consisted of bread and fried shrimp and…that’s it.  But oh well, Adryan seemed to enjoy it.

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Here’s the whole group minus me of course enjoying lunch before we were all raped by a gang of rednecks “Squeal boy squeaaaall!”

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Below…a bunch of crawfish.  I have never had crawfish and still haven’t.  No, I did not partake in the crawfishery.  I saw what it did to my fellow human beings and decided I’d wait.

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I did discover that Carys eats sunglasses and Rowan sweats like her father, i.e. copious amounts after seconds in the heat.  “Wow…you must have been out there forever…you’re drenched in sweat!”  “What…oh…yeah, probably like 15 seconds.”

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Rowan enjoyed herself immensely.  Honestly, I think if you put a bounce house in the middle of a junkyard surrounded by a mound of dog shit, she’d enjoy herself.

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What goes up must come down…quickly and with wild abandon.

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And what festival would be complete without farm animals.  “Hey, you guys want wander around in the cage for a bit and let small children molest you for a bit?  We’ve got cheap animal feed.” “Food?  Food? Food?”  “Right this way llama.”

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“That’s a llama penis!”

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Uncle Chris doing what he does best.

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Finally, a normal picture of Chris.  We had him wear his sunglasses because if he’s not making a ridiculous face, he will blink…even when there’s no flash.  “Chris, a camera went off somewhere”  “Cover your eyes!! cover your eyes!!  My God, everyone shut your eyes!!”

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But Rowan has a forgiving heart.  Bunny ears are not the worst thing in the world.  Plus, she needed some muscle (yes, all 140 pounds of Chris’s muscle) to take on some fat Spring kids.  When did plaid shorts come back in?  My God, we need to stop this trend.  The 80’s and early 90’s were a terrible time for fashion.  If Vaurnet starts coming back, I’m moving to China.  Yes, Communism is better than plaid shorts.

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After a long day of playing with Daddy…relaxing with Mommy sounds amazing.  Popsicles please…rocket shaped popsicles…now!  Carys on the other hand took Daddy’s approach…completely disrobe and crawl around aimlessly until someone puts you to bed.  I’ll tell you, if you haven’t tried it…do yourself a favor.  Adryan hates lifting me into bed and man do I hate ass lint, but god is it worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, another successful family outing.  I define success by 1) No injury or death; 2) Rowan and Carys had fun; and 3) no hillbilly rape.  2 out 3 ain’t bad. Yay crawfish!

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